looking back at my entries, i realize that the majority of them have been about one person. one person that i've liked ever since we broke up. i wanted to be with him again so badly...but i never thought that it would actually happen. but now, after two years of waiting, wanting and learning, and two years of getting to know someone i thought i already knew, i hesitate to say that...my wish might actually be granted.

and after all the obstacles
it's good to see you now with someone else
and it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
after all that we've been through
i know we're cool

john f. kennedy
1917 - 1963

you don't know it, but i'm in love with you.

DEATH TOLL IN IRAQ REACHES 2,000

...someone, please, get us the fuck out of there.

rosa parks
1913-2005

i'd be lying if i said i was completely unscathed
would i be proving you right with my silence or my retaliation
would i be letting you win in my non reaction
how would i explain this to my children if i had them
because i can't not
because i can't afford to be misread one more time

would it be whining if i said i needed a hug
would you feel slighted if i said your love's not enough
how can i complain when i'm the one who reaches for it
because i cannot walk without my crutches
because i can't help wonder why you ask me

to all the unheard wisdom in the schoolyard
you think you're the right ones
you think you're the charmed ones i'm sure
how can you go on with such conviction
and who do you think you are
and why do you question me

because we can't not
because we can't help laugh at underestimations
because we cannot help without your willingness
why do you affect me still
why do you hinder me still
why do you unnerve me still
why do you trigger me still

pardon me if this makes no sense, i'm rather drunk at the moment.

but anyways, tonight was fucking awesome. it was the opening night of 'hair' and it kicked ass. i got naked! hell yes! and afterwards we got completely trashed at the money.

for the first time in a long time, i actually feel like people love me. thank god for theatre people.

now, if only i had you...things would be perfect. anyways, i hope you are able to come see it....

i've been watching all the time
and i still can't find the tact
and i wanna know is it okay
is it just fine
or it it my fault
is it my lack...

cindy sheehan arrested during anti-war protest.

fuck them. i don't give a shit what anyone else says...this is turning into vietnam all over again.

a simple tale of love
© 1997 Geryll Robinson

There once was a boy who took up a great deal of space in my life. He had very sweet breath. Against all prior warnings and advice I sought him out and loved him—this boy with the sweet breath—I loved him so much that I actually tried to give myself to him like a present or a gift.

One afternoon in his bed he played for me an album by a soulful sister named Joan and I clung to his moist body and cried into the sweet soft place where his neck and shoulder met. And it was at this moment that I knew that I would love this boy with the sweet breath that I would love him forever—for the rest of my life—forever.

And then something went wrong. Some irreversibly wrong and hateful element was sent to destroy. It traveled through his veins carrying the far off rhythms of a distant land that never existed.

His breath became sour.

His passion for me was slowly displaced by his obsession with this force in his veins, his lungs, his mind, his body—but his soul I often wonder…was it too infiltrated by this chemical destroyer? Or does his soul know that I love him still—the boy with the sweet breath—does his soul know that I’m sorry…I never got to say “goodbye”?

Goodbye.

CUTRAIN

i realize i am now officaly a poor college kid.

i had to look everywhere in my car, trying to find money so i could get into the rasputina concert...and came up with a total of $2.56. but oh well, i ended up getting in for free anyways.

then garrett blaked out.

and rasputina kicked ASS.

and, i fucking met them. and got their autographs...for jordan.

and odd and yet very satisfying night.


ps. i hope you're doing well. and i miss you.

++edit++
just incase anyone was wondering, the $2.56 went towards two apple pies and a large sweet tea from micky d's.

we got something, we both know it
we don't talk too much about it
ain't no real big secret all the same
somehow we get around it
it don't really matter to me
you believe what you wanna believe
you see you don't have to live like a refugee

somewhere, somehow
somebody must've kicked you around some
tell me why you wanna lay there
and revel in your abandon
it don't make no difference to me
everybody has to fight to be free
you see you don't have to live like a refugee

oh baby, we ain't the first
i'm sure alot of other lovers been cursed
right now this seems real to you
but it's one of those things you got to feel to be true

somewhere, somehow
somebeody must've kicked you around some
who knows, maybe you were kidnapped, tied up, taken away
and held for ransom
it don't really matter to me, baby
'cause everybody's had to fight to be free
you see you don't have to live like a refugee

we'll have an apartment.
in downtown new york.
a little one, maybe just a studio.
we'd have all my albums and guitars,
and your playbills, of course.
the walls would be bare brick,
and the balcony,
we'd be out there every night,
watching the sky,
hearing the cars and nightlife,
wrapped in each other's arms.
we'd have a little tv,
and a big fluffy couch,
one we could cuddle up on forever.
and it wouldn't be much,

but at least,
at least,

you'd be mine.
and i would be yours.

yours...

as i sit and watch the snow falling down
i don't miss you at all
i hear children playing, laughing so loud
i don't think of your smile
so if you never come to me
you'll stay a distant memory

out my window i see lights going dark
your dark eyes don't haunt me
and then i wonder who i am
without the warm touch of your hand

as i sit and watch the snow falling down
i don't miss you at all

adolphus g. hawkins
1923 - 2005

i'll meet you on god's golden shore...

i lit my love and watched it burn
asking nothing in return
except the lessons i've learned
from holding crazy faith
i've been touched by that bright fire
down to the root of my desire
while the smoke it rises higher
on crazy faith

you're not asking if i love this man
i know you don't believe you can
yet i've seen love open like a dancer's fan
it's crazy i know, but my faith says so
it tells me

am i a fool for hanging on
would i be a fool to be long gone
when is daylight going to dawn
on my crazy faith
the questions will not let me sleep
the answers buried way too deep
at the bottom of a lover's game
made by crazy faith

love your lose and lose your love
let the hope fly from above
do not search the skies above
search your crazy faith
love is lightning, love is ice
it only strikes the lucky twice
once so you will know the price
and once for crazy faith

you're not asking if i love this man
i know you don't belive you can
yet i've seen love open like a dancer's fan
its crazy i know, but my faith says so

unclaimed love song
© 2001 genevra gallo

genevra sits stage left, playing guitar and singing a little love song...

i'll stretch you
pull you forward
release your quiet
watch you breathe
keep you safe
enfold you
just believe
i'll be so careful

touch me
pull me forward please
ask for sound
uncover me
deep inside
embrace me
and promise please
that you'll be careful

and i'll be careful
and we'll be

lines on your face don't bother me
down in my chair when you dance over me
i can't help myself
i've got to see you again

late in the night when I'm all alone
and i look at the clock
and i know you're not home
i can't help myself
i've got to see you again

i could almost go there
just to watch you be seen
i could almost go there
just to live in a dream

but no i won't go for any of those things
to not touch your skin is not why i sing
i can't help myself
i've got to see you again

no i won't go to share you with them
but oh even though i know where you've been
i can't help myself
i've got to see you again